And you don't even have a minute to think...

I love weddings. Everything about them, probably a good thing since I'm a wedding planner!  Love the creativity I see in each bride as she tells what design, color or decor will make her day uniquely hers. Love the excitement in the eyes of the bride and groom as they talk of their special day.  Love the organizational end as I lay out the plans and see it all come together, love the smile and happiness I see on their faces....

I also love movies about weddings!  Go figure! 

To name a few..."The Wedding Planner", "Bride Wars", "27 Dresses", "The Wedding Date",  "My Best Friends Wedding" and my list could not be complete with out " My Big Fat Greek Wedding" that movie makes me laugh time and time again!

One of the lines in the movie that sticks out to me is when the main character is trying to explain her Greek family to her date. She talks of being chased around with a lamb eyeball by her Aunt, Her father and his brothers eating the lambs brains, but the line I am referring to is when she talks abut her 27 first cousins and all being in each others business and "not even having a minute to think."

I get this.  I get the fact that sometimes I have demands on my life, people needing and wanting things and feeling like I don't even have time to think.  I get the stress this brings and the inability to breathe  because there is so much to do. I get the overwhelming feeling of knowing I'm forgetting some important task due to the fact I can not think past the fires in front of me that need to be put out. I get it all....but there is something else I get sometimes I don't want to think.  The pain it can bring, the frustration, the tears..sometimes thinking brings out fears and added stress that frankly, I don't  want to deal with.

Life isn't always fun and games. and, as I have said in earlier posts, I'm trying to figure out who I am.  In all the busyness of life I've felt like I've lost my identity...I don't mean this to sound selfish or inward focused as if I don't care about what is going on around me..but some where I've forgotten that it is ok to take time for myself, to do something for me...somewhere I stopped thinking and just doing....go through the motions of my day, doing everything for everyone and forgetting who I am, my likes and dislikes, having meaningful conversations, being creative and carving out my little part of the world that says this is uniquely Kelly....

I think that is why I admire the brides I work with.  They are taking that time to think about their special day and making it theirs.  They have that smile that says even though everything may not be going smoothly, its still gonna be great. They have focus and drive to have things done in a way that says something about them and their groom.  They are putting their stamp on the world by taking a minute to think...

 Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real..and that has been the only thinking...let me rephrase that...that has been the only stinkin' thinkin' I've been doing.  I have not thought about any goals I may have, the good I've done, the blessings I have. I've shut the door on dreaming and for some reason not allowed myself that freedom to look beyond the negative things in my life and think any good could come from it. I've allowed lies to seep in and take over.

I need to take a lesson from the brides I work with, I need to realize, though its tough right now in my life, it will work out. I need to get my focus and drive back. I need to smile. I need to put my stamp on my little corner of the world and make it uniquely mine.

I need to take my minute to think. I need to realize it will take time and my life and problems won't be fixed in a day...But none the less, I can take some time right now to think...And I think I will...