The movie that I have gotten a lot out of though is Facing the Giants. An inspirational movie that shows not only how a high school football team deals with facing their Giants-another football team but their personal giants...the things in their life that hang over them and stop them from doing their best, giving their best and being their best.
The other night when I couldn't sleep I was flipping through the channels and found this movie on and it happened to be at my favorite scene ( which, I am posting at the end of my blog ) I started to think about what my giants were and what I need to do to face them.
On a side note...I have to say, I have been totally blessed with a handful of friends who know me..I mean really know me. They know my struggles, fears and the things that intimidate me and call me out on it all the time. I love these women! They have helped to bring to the surface the things in my life I need to deal with and have done so with words filled with love and grace.
A word picture that totally describes what these women have done for me is the heating process to purify gold. Gold is heated to boiling temperatures to allow all the impurities to come to the surface and be skimmed off. This is done several times till a person can see their reflection in the melted gold.
These women have gotten me to my boiling point many times..but only for my good.. to skim off the top all the things that do not need to be in my life anymore.
So why bring this up? Cause they are helping me in facing my giants. They are helping me to realize, as we all need to sooner or later, that the giants really are not as big as we think they are, and no matter our size we can defeat them.
It is hard sometimes to be totally honest in this blog, I know many have read it but don't know who. Some live in Alaska, some here in La Crosse...but there are still 50 plus people who I have no clue who they are! But I guess part of facing my giants is admitting that I have them and maybe what I am going through can help someone else. And I can be a little bit of light in their darkness.....
So here it goes...I have major fears of letting people down. I'm a first born perfectionist (which is a whole other blog posting to come!) and fear not being perfect at my job,raising my girls and being organized. And though a very superficial statement...I am very insecure in my looks... so all this culminated in my life brings me face to face with a giant. A giant that seems to rear its ugly head constantly in my life and in many day to day situations.
Now let me say, I know the truth. I know I will let people down. I know I am not perfect. But the problem is knowing it in my head is not knowing it in my heart. The difference between wisdom and knowledge. Knowledge is good but it needs to be applied to ones life. That's wisdom. And that is what I need to work on, applying what I know...
I wish I could say that I have faced my giants they are all defeated and I am stronger because of it. But unfortunately that hasn't happened. However, I have made some great strides. I've realized that I just need to do my best and do my best for me not others. I also realized that to some extent I need to have blinders on and can't look at what others are doing or have done but stay the course I'm on. I have learned to except compliments on the job I do with a simple thank you and not think how I don't deserve such a compliment because I could have done much better. I've realized too, that I don't want to change who I am to get accepted by others, I want to change because for too long I've been living my life for others..... I have to do my best, be my best and give my best daily and I won't walk around with a defeated attitude.
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